


One Way or Another

by annetta23



Category: Men's Football RPF, Sports RPF
Genre: Best Friends, English Premier League, Gay, Gay Sex, Liverpool, Liverpool F.C., M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-20
Updated: 2020-07-20
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:14:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 5,742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25402162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/annetta23/pseuds/annetta23
Summary: They're already a close pair, but a pair of what? Trent-Alexander Arnold and Andy Robertson started to see how their friendship was different.
Relationships: Jordan Henderson/Adam Lallana, Trent Alexander-Arnold/Andrew Robertson
Comments: 4
Kudos: 57





	1. Chapter 1

**TRENT**

> **From: Robbo**
> 
> _Hey, mate. What u doin? I need some new polo shirts, let’s hit the mall tomorrow._

An amused smile broke on Trent’s face. Yup, just a bit after ten, exactly when he’d expect a text or a call from Andy. Trent rolled to his stomach and typed,

> **To: Robbo**
> 
> _Cannot sleep, and sure. Though I wonder why you couldn’t just ask your sponsors for some new polos…_

Trent chuckled; he just loved teasing and low-key mocking on Andy. Especially since most of the time he’d actually be on the receiving end of the Scottish’s antics. Just like the next reply.

> **From: Robbo**
> 
> _You nasty frugal lad. And of course you won’t sleep until you hear my warm voice. Good night, Trent. Sweet dreams xxxxxxxxxx_

They acted stupid like that all the time. Trent replied with a black heart emoji, plugged in his charger and weirdly started to feel sleepy. What the hell? Maybe even his circadian rhythm couldn’t identify the night without an intro from Andy. One thing was clear, Trent’s mood would be different too during the day without Andy being near.

Just last week, they were scheduled for different training sessions, since training got split because of the pandemic. Trent didn’t even realize how different he was without Andy, until he was looking for the lad in the changing room, realizing he hadn’t had his daily laugh vomit.

“Apparently I cannot live without him,” Trent yawned at his ceiling before closing his eyes.

  
  


**ANDY**

A black heart was enough. Short, quiet like Trent himself, but enough for Andy to rest his head with a smile. Texting Trent had become a staple in his night routine, and he started to feel Trent would say the same. Yeah, he dared to say Trent would be lost without him.

_But does he feel the same?_

That would be something Andy would like to find out soon, and tomorrow could be a start. He couldn't do much in trainings with the other boys around. Actually he could, but there would just be too many distractions.

And he didn't have a "privilege" like Hendo and Adam. Hendo was captain; though he never asked for a special treatment, the showers would be empty when Hendo wanted a bit more time to "wash Adam's back" or whatever. Andy swore they even had a quickie there a few times.

"Oh my god Andy, stop,"

Without having any control over his mind, images of Trent's bare thighs and chest started popping in Andy's tired head. How could he handle such things, when Trent's pearly white smile alone had successfully driven him near crazy numerous times?

"And that chocolate skin," Andy mumbled to his pillow. "Oh that chocolate skin..."

Quiet Trent must have had no idea how hot he was. It's crazy, the fact that he was still single. But what's even more crazy for Andy was listening to his own thoughts.

_How? Why? I'm not even gay._


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pulling up by his place, Trent was ready to get out after their usual fist bump, but Andy’s hand on his thigh stopped him.
> 
> “Trent, wait. I need to tell you something.”

**TRENT**

“Okay how about this one?”

Andy stepped out of the curtain with another polo, frowning the moment he looked at the mirror.

“What’s with the face?” Trent chuckled, focused on Andy’s weird pout. “And what’s wrong with this one? I like this one,”

“Eeeh I don’t know,” Andy shrugged, uselessly pulling and straightening the shirt. “Something about the top part?”

Rolling his eyes, Trent stepped in and grabbed the collar. There’s nothing wrong with the white polo, Andy just missed a fold around his shoulder that made him look swallowed. Trent pulled the collar up, refolded it down, even went to undo another button.

A bit more skin, and it looked twice better.

“There,” Trent observed his work in the mirror, definitely satisfied with his styling job. “Get this one, two or three. You just need a little help, Robbo. You just need me, as always”

And two seconds later, Trent was still waiting for Andy’s annoyed response. But the lad was silent, looking at Trent’s hand on his shoulder with his jaw hanging open. They were standing so close, and Trent could feel that Andy was somewhat trembling.

“Andy? You okay?”

“Yeah! Yeah,” Andy stepped back, as if being snapped back from a spell. “Uh, I’ll change and meet you at the cashier.”

It seemed that he’s okay, but Trent could see the little changes. When Andy laughed, his eyes were not laughing along. Trent could tell the other lad behind the steering wheel was occupied with something caught up in his head. Andy looked burdened and uncomfortable. 

Whatever happened again, back in the mall? Trent thought, but he couldn’t remember anything. They just had lunch together before going shopping. If something happened, say, one of Andy’s dogs was sick, or something about the team, Andy would have said it during lunch.

Pulling up by his place, Trent was ready to get out after their usual fist bump, but Andy’s hand on his thigh stopped him.

“Trent, wait. I need to tell you something.”

**ANDY**

It had been started, now he just had to continue and finish. Andy was not ready, but he couldn’t hold it by himself any longer. He had to share it.

“Trent,”

“Andy what is it?” Trent cut with wide eyes. “You’re not dying, right? Andy?”

“Oh thank god, no,” Andy chuckled.  _ I might be soon, though _ . “I am physically very healthy, Trent. You know I’m good with jokes, but not with words, so....I just wanna say I really, really like you.”

He’s in love, but Andy didn’t want to freak Trent out.

“I’ve been thinking about you, ‘differently’. That’s the word, I guess? I don’t even know how or why, because I never felt like this ever with any other guy. But I really, really like you.” Andy forced a smile. “I hope we could be more than bezzies.” 

Andy exhaled, happy that he managed to say all that. But he still felt like throwing up, especially since Trent had not said anything, and just froze with his mouth on the floor.

“Trent, if you’re happy, or mad, or anything...please tell me.”

“Sorry, I,” Trent massaged his temple. Seemed like he’s avoiding Andy’s eyes. “I was not expecting that at all. I, uh...I honestly don’t know what to say.”

_ You stupid fool, _ Andy said to himself. Now he’s feeling so bad for Trent. He was so focused on confessing, Andy didn’t even think about anything else. Burdening Trent was the last thing Andy ever wanted, and unfortunately he could see that weight on Trent’s shoulder.

“I think...I need to think about this,” Trent finally said. He smiled warmly, and Andy felt like dropping to his knees and prayed. 

“So yeah...Good night, mate,”

Trent got off the car and sprinted to the gate. Yeah, they fist bumped already, that’s usually how they would say goodbye. But Andy was hurt still, that Trent didn’t wait for him to say his good night. 

He’s afraid he had pushed Trent further.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Could they be more than bezzies? Honestly, Trent didn’t have to think twice. With Andy, he’s willing to see how that’d look like.

**TRENT**

“Is this really Robbo? Huh?”

Baffled Virgil bowed down, frowning at Andy. Obviously Andy had been rather quiet during training today, and van Dijk was not having it.

“Why you so quiet today, Bro? Who are you, eh?!” Virgil nudged Andy’s head. “Who are you and what did you do to my brother?”

Andy just smiled at the floor, and Trent felt a lump suddenly clogging up his chest. 

Before anyone started questioning him anything, since he’s Andy’s best mate, Trent took a shower real quick and escaped to the gym. It’s empty now, everyone was done and ready to split. Trent settled on a bench press and exhaled dramatically.

He had a sleepless night, and barely awake during training. Did Andy struggle to sleep as well, Trent wondered. It was the very first time in like forever that they didn’t talk or text by bedtime. Trent didn’t even remember the last time he went to bed without something of Andy. That time must be suck.

Trent scratched his head furiously. _Fuck_. This couldn’t be how things were gonna be between them from now on. But talking to Andy again didn’t mean just saying “hi” again; it meant reviewing who he was, his preference, his heart. Trent was not prepared for that. Overnight? Impossible.

“Andy, Andy, Andy…” 

It’s obvious that Andy was already more than a friend. They were dependent on each other; couldn’t even rest without hearing each other first. If it was true what Andy said last night, that he never experienced anything like this before, then they’re just as clueless.

Could they be more than bezzies? Honestly, Trent didn’t have to think twice. With Andy, he’s willing to see how that’d look like.

\--

Out the gym, Trent walked down the empty aisle back to the locker room. Melwood was empty; maybe only the kitchen staff was still there. Looking out, Trent expected to spot just his car parked outside, but then he saw Andy’s black Rover.

Something behind made Trent want to turn around, and he was not surprised to see Andy there. 

Blue-ish dark circles around his eyes; Trent bet he had those too. But what’s more sad was the silence. It was the very last thing Trent ever expected to share with Andy.

“Hey,” Trent smiled. He wanted to be the brave one today. “I was just about to-”

“No, Trent, wait.” 

Andy’s eyes went everywhere, but his voice was nothing but shaky and nervous.

“About last night...Just forget what I said last night.”

_What?_

“We literally stopped talking since I dropped you. I hope there is a turning back...I don’t wanna lose my best friend. I’m sorry, just forget what I said, OK?”

And that lump in Trent’s chest was back. It’s no longer a burden from confusion; surprisingly it was disappointment. Why did Andy chicken out?

“Why should I forget your confession?” Trent felt his jaws hardened. “Overnight, you said you wanted more, and now you just...don’t care?”

“That’s not what I said!” Andy snapped, but his shoulders slumped back immediately. “Oh my god, I...I care about you dearly. Dearly, Trent. But you can’t even talk to me anymore after last night, and I am too afraid to start because I don’t want to be pushy, and-”

“You didn’t text me last night!” 

Trent exhaled heavily. He’s really, really disappointed. 

“You didn’t text me last night, didn’t say anything today...I’m lost, Andy. I’ve been thinking about what you said non stop and suddenly, you said just forget it? Seriously, Andy?”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “But, you know what, mate? You’re like Joker. If someone could push me to be extreme, it’s you. Only you."

**ANDY**

“I’ve been thinking about what you said non stop and suddenly, you said just forget it? Seriously, Andy?”

That did sound douchey of him, Andy had to admit. He was not the only one barely talking and sporting dark circles today. Speaking of dark circles…

“So you’re expecting my text?” 

Trent rolled his eyes, but his cheeks were burning red. 

“You know I was. Always.”

_Oh dear, Trent..._

  
  


“Trent, I’m so sorry,” Andy braced himself and stepped forward. “I thought you needed some time to think, and you really could and should take all the time you need. I’m sorry...I couldn’t sleep as well, just so you know,”

Trent bit his bottom lip, holding his smile from spreading as he said,

“I’ve figured,” 

His signature lip biting, and his pearly smile...Trent was back. They had made up, and Andy started laughing his heart out in bliss.

“Oh my god, Trent! Gaaah! Come here,”

They met in a tight hug, and for the first time since last night, Andy was not fighting to breathe again. He pushed his mouth to Trent’s shoulder, smiling inside and out. He thought he’d lost this friendship.

“Happy?” Trent asked, still rocking Andy in his squeezing arms.

“Yeah, mate,” Andy chuckled. “Very.”

“Don’t you wanna know...what I think?”

Andy gulped and slowly pulled away. He hoped he was not just imagining the jolly in Trent’s voice. _Oh god._ Just like that, he felt like hyperventilating again.

“Please,” Andy shrugged. He sounded pitchy and stupid. “Sure.”

“So…” Trent started, then carefully stopped. Andy totally understood.

“I’m not sure other people ever started a relationship like this. Like, ‘Hey mate, our friendship is cool. Wanna date?’”

Trent stopped again, just to shoot his beautiful smile and nervous laugh at his feet. 

“But, you know what, mate? You’re like Joker. If someone could push me to be extreme, it’s you. Only you. As crazy as it is, it’s soo crazy I can’t believe I am even saying this...but let’s give it a try.”

**JAMES**

“SERIOUSLY?” James Milner covered his mouth. This must be a freaking joke, but Jordan Henderson never really joked.

“I’m serious, I saw the CCTV, mate,” Jordan giggled. “I just need to tell someone; I couldn’t keep it myself alone. And I made the operator promise that he’s only telling me. And I’m only telling the vice captain…”

“OK, OK, OK.” James shook his head in disbelief. “Oh my god...Trent and that clown! I can't believe it! I need to practice my poker face.”

“You better do!” Jordan whispered, winked and sprinted to the door. But James was still in shock, and decided to stay by his car for a while. Not only that he needed to prepare his poker face, but he still couldn’t believe what Jordan whispered to him just a couple minutes ago.

Trent and Andy were arguing in the main aisle inside a couple days ago, before seemingly making up and sharing a few kisses. 

_Wow._

James only hoped whatever it was they were starting, it wouldn’t be as dramatic as Jordan’s and Adam’s journey.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two days ago, Andy was still dreaming of Trent’s smile, and now here he was, in Andy's very bed, half naked only with his briefs on.

**ANDY**

“OK, Andrew, calm down. Calm the fuck down,”

It’s easy to say that to the man in the mirror, but he’s not the one with a thumping heart and semi hard dick. Andy was nervous, scared, horny, excited, and happy. Even lifting trophies didn’t give him such a crazy mixture. He bowed down and splashed his face once again. It didn’t help anything, but Andy just needed to do something until he’s ready to go back to his room.

Andy opened the door, and he knew he’d never be ready for this. Trent lying on his back, smiling over his phone when he noticed Andy was back. His hard abs caught Andy’s breath immediately. Two days ago, Andy was still dreaming of Trent’s smile, and now here he was, in Andy's very bed, half naked only with his briefs on.

“Oh, fuck,” Andy pulled his hair. His body was aching all over. “Fuck, you’re so beautiful,”

“Shut up,” Trent blushed, scooting to make some room. 

They didn’t talk about this. Andy had no plans, he didn’t ask Trent anything. They mentally agreed to let nature take them anywhere it decided tonight. Even if they ended up just sleeping side by side until the morning came, Andy wouldn’t complain.

But that would be stupid, right?

“Can I kiss you?” Andy groaned, pulling Trent closer until their noses touched. Better than an answer, Trent brought their open lips together, pulling Andy to land on top of him.

Their first kiss the other day was sweet, and Andy wouldn’t change a thing. But this one was straight out of his wildest fantasy; tongues, moans and all. Andy took on Trent’s lower lip, finally able to taste and claim that thick, cushion-y beauty he could only admire before. And Trent was not only willing; he kissed back just as furiously.

This didn’t look good.

“Trent, I’m just gonna...go for it,” Andy bit his lip, looking at Trent’s now very swollen lips. “I can’t hold it back. Don’t you feel this? Huh?”

Andy twisted his hips, pressing their covered hard dicks together.

“If I do something wrong, just stop me. Kick me, slap me, whatever. OK?”

**TRENT**

It’s too much.

The sheet was tortured in Trent’s fist, for a lack of better release. He’s half buried in Andy’s throat, keeping eye contact with every head bob and lick. Somehow he managed to thrust steady, even though the pleasure was pushing Trent to just thrust like no tomorrow.

And then Andy moved lower, and Trent experienced his balls being sucked for the first time.

“Oh my god, Andy,” Trent hissed. He’s feeling like dying. “Andy! Oh Andy...”

“Are you close?” 

“Yes! Yes!”

Andy licked for the last time, and took Trent’s dick again down his throat. Even lower this time, and soon Trent exploded, body and soul, shooting endless cum to Andy’s face and his chest. The sensation was beyond anything Trent ever dreamed or experienced in his life before. 

Thank god for Andy’s horny ass. Trent was ready to return the favor. 

**ANDY**

“You good?”

Andy wiped his mouth, but Trent’s taste would never leave his senses. So did the view in front of him; cum-covered Trent in his bed was literally a dream came true. A fantasy he never even dared to fantasize.

It’s beyond crazy. And Trent seemed to agree.

“That was…That was everything.”

Trent must be feeling powerless, his small voice was proof. Andy picked up his boxer and started wiping the mess off Trent’s chest. Something about it felt pure and beautiful, Andy would love to take care of Trent like this, everyday.

Suddenly Trent stopped him and took the boxer.

“Lie down here,” he ordered. Andy wondered what’s wrong.

“Andy, lie down! Let me take care of...this,”

Trent reached down to Andy’s semi hard dick, and started to jerk slow yet steady. Andy had completely forgotten about himself, and that was still the case. He fell to the pillow, and just watched in disbelief when Trent parted his legs further, and returned the favor without a doubt.

Careful at first, but slowly, eventually, Andy could feel Trent was relaxing. His short licks got longer, taking his first dick further and further down his throat. But Andy’s favorite must be the small kisses Trent would plant to his inner thighs, not resting his mouth even when he needed to catch a breath.

Andy wished this would go forever, but of course he couldn’t last long. Even after trying to close his eyes a few times so he didn’t have to watch Trent sucking him like a delish Popsicle, soon Andy jerked violently, and shot everything while still deep inside Trent’s warm mouth.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trent looked around, trying to find Andy in the scatter, and suddenly he heard Jordan yelling.
> 
> “Andy, it’s nothing. Stop!”

**ANDY**

Sounds from the kitchen were Andy’s alarm. He heard liquid being poured, and sizzles from the pan being used. But what really pushed him off the mattress were the smell of bacon and burnt cheese tickling his nostrils.

After washing his face, Andy carefully walked to the kitchen. For some reason he felt nervous.

“Morning, mate,” Trent smiled wide, wiping his hands on his boxers. “Breakfast? Coffee for me, and tea for you. I know you don’t really do coffee.”

Between his half-awake brain and delighted heart, Andy struggled to find a word. He caressed Trent’s cheek, thinking if this face would be his morning from now on. He leaned in and planted a morning kiss, wishing that this was his destiny, not just some temporary luck. His life was scattered once, and look where he was now. Stability, fame, success;Trent would literally complete his tale. 

“Thank you, but you really didn’t have too, you know?” Andy frowned, distracted by Trent’s full lips. _God, those lips are the death of me._ “You’re the guest. I should be the one cooking.”

Trent just waved and pulled his chair, dived into the warm meal while Andy was still adjusting. Honestly, he rarely sat on this table, thanks for being single. He ate at Melwood all the time, and when he’s home, he’d just phoned and ordered something. Not eating on the couch felt weird.

Sitting on the table again was awkward, let alone with a barely clothed man. And not just any man, but the only one that mattered. Andy took his cup and sipped, taking in everything in silence. All the feels this morning offered him,Trent’s bacon smile, and his furious heartbeat calming down.

It’s a beautiful morning.

  
  


**JORDAN**

Pretty smooth. Those boys sure knew how to play their poker faces and acted being casual. Andy and Trent were locker neighbors and Jordan had not seen a single suspicious smile, or cheeky stares being exchanged between them. Well, maybe just not yet.

Jordan looked to his side, to Adam who was busy with his hair and the small mirror. With them it was a different start, and totally different journey to get where they were now. Fueled by lust at first, until Jordan realized Adam was "the one" that he almost stupidly lost.

“Jordan?” Adam tilted his head adorably. “What?”

“Huh? What, Love?”

“You’re staring at me weird. Oh Jordan, is it my hair?”

Even if it was, Adam wouldn’t be any less than perfect in Jordan’s eyes. Jordan leaned in and kissed the worried away. Soft, sentimental, loving Adam. A literal angel, borderline a martyr. There’s a bit of Adam in young Trent, but sure he’s not as fragile. Still, Jordan really, really wished a smoother start for the boys.

That if they’d end crossing the same finish line.

**TRENT**

That was sweet, but Trent doubted he’s ready to be that public, that chill, kissing a man yet.

He saw earlier, Jordan and Adam kissing by the lockers. They struggled a bit in the beginning; Jordan the captain would yell at Adam on the pitch, then Adam would cry because in his poor little heart, there’s only Jordan the boyfriend. 

Somehow it was sorted, and Adam’s got a stronger shield today. 

Trent tied his shoes, and resumed his stretching. It’s too early for him and Andy to have any kind of drama, or to be bothered to find a reason to spark one. They just started; the excitement was sti-

“Guys, cut it out!”

The boys had moved towards the bench; looked like there’s a fight. Trent looked around, trying to find Andy in the scatter, and suddenly he heard Jordan yelling.

“Andy, it’s nothing. Stop!”

_Oh my god._

“Andy?” 

Trent shoved left and right, until he saw Andy being held by Virgil and Jordan. Andy’s eyes were lit, like they would jump out of his sockets any time. Harvey and the other young lads frowned back at him across the field.

The boys. It must be them. They bugged Andy many times with their excessive, misplaced jokes, and this time it must be bad enough that Andy just snapped.

“Andy? Andy?”

Trent slipped his hand behind Andy’s neck and forced him to look. He had failed trying to stop Andy’s rage before, but Trent felt this time he didn’t have to say much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Find the Jordan-Adam origin in my story "Lust or Love" xx


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Andy ran a finger down Trent’s jacket zipper. He should survive until tonight, with his poor, near non-existent self control.

**ANDY**

They strategically waited until it’s fairly empty before leaving. Side by side walking out the door, and once they stood between their cars, Andy took Trent’s hand to his.

“Sorry for earlier. Didn’t know why I exploded like that,”

He’s a Scot, he’s aggressive and Andy was fully aware of that. But he never knew what Trent thought about that side of him. He didn’t really care before, but now it mattered.

“Let the coaches watch them,” Trent played his thumb around, massaging Andy’s skin softly. “Or Hendo. If you’re annoyed, just move away, OK?”

“Still,” Andy shrugged. “Thank you for saving me.”

“It was nothing.” Trent bit his lip. “I'm just...looking after what's mine."

Oh wow. 

Andy knew he must be looking really funny now, but his chest felt warm yet squeezed at the same time. Breakfast, and now...being protective? Trent was a surprise that kept on surprising.

Or maybe he’s just really loving and caring. 

“I'm yours? I love the sound of that…"

Andy ran a finger down Trent’s jacket zipper. He should survive until tonight, with his poor, near non-existent self control. He'd be Trent's fully, one way or another.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Does that feel good?” Trent seemed to notice.
> 
> “You feel good," Andy corrected. "You feel so good inside me…”

**TRENT**

It’s like trying to fit the whole stadium to a meeting room. Impossible, dangerous. Trent stopped pushing, though he actually wanted to do the opposite. He’s already, overwhelmingly, wonderfully, third inside Andy. 

“Are you OK?” Trent bowed down and kissed Andy’s tense back. “Should I pull out?”

“No! No...Keep going,”

“Are you sure?” 

Because Trent was not. He read online it’d be painful, even after the first few times. But instead Andy nodded, grinning over his shoulder while slowly jerking his dick. Whether he had such a high pain tolerance, or just plain crazy and high with lust, Andy looked to be in cloud nine.

And that’s exactly where Trent was floating. Concerns were no longer clogging his senses, replaced by pure drive and bliss. He pushed a little more, and Andy instinctively squeezed tighter. As if this virgin ass was not tight already…

“Oh, Andy...Your hole got me-”

Another push, and another, and another. Trent could tell for a split second there, Andy stopped breathing before letting out a big exhale. He’s fully filled.

**ANDY**

Now the pain was just a slight discomfort. It’s still weird, but so much more enjoyable. Andy lifted his leg higher over Trent’s shoulders, and was hit by a new found pleasure taking him all over.

“Does that feel good?” Trent seemed to notice.

“ _You_ feel good," Andy corrected. "You feel so good inside me…”

Now on his back, Andy took half the control, and enjoyed triple the pleasure from seeing, touching, and opening up for Trent. He knew he wouldn't last long. Not with Trent's nipples under his palm. Not with the slapping sounds, and Trent's intense stare at him.

It's too much. It's just too much.

"Trent!" 

Andy gasped, shooting countless cum ropes to his chest. He didn't even get to reach down, hands still glued to Trent's skin as he went up and came back down from the euphoria. Shocked, content, but wonderful for the most part.

What followed was a bit blurry, but Andy felt the weird discomfort as Trent pulled out. He almost got hard again, immediately, as warm cum started hitting his lips, in sync with Trent’s choppy moans. Andy opened his mouth as wide as he could. He wanted it all. 


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Andy punched “send” and held his pillow tight. He’s physically alone, mentally lonely, and scared inside and out.

**TRENT**

“I’m sorry. Just for two days, okay?”

“Sure, Trent. Sure.” Andy shrugged, his smile didn’t last too long. “It’s OK.”

“Text me, okay? Don’t let that die." Trent fixed Andy's hair. "I’d need your silly texts.”

Hopefully that’d cheer Andy up, and make up for the sudden news. Trent wouldn’t be able to see him for two days, and it’s not even totally his decision. For once, his parents and brothers could have matching free days and decided they all should go for a short family camping and fishing trip.

Leaving Andy today after training felt heavy. Trent never saw him that disappointed, it’s almost too dramatic. It was as if Trent was leaving him for another guy, or another girl, or like he was flying out the Earth forever. Andy just looked so down. 

Trent hoped he was not hiding something totally unrelated.

**ANDY**

> **To: Trent**
> 
> Hey beautiful. Don’t mean to be clingy but I miss u. What are you doing rn?

The physical loneliness had gone to Andy’s head. He rolled to his side, just to feel even more lonely, realizing how empty his night was without Trent, for the first time after a couple weeks being together.

Andy revised his draft.

> **To: Trent**
> 
> Hey my beautiful. Don’t mean to be clingy but I miss you so much...What are you doing rn? Do you miss me?

Desperate, but fuck it. Andy punched “send” and held his pillow tight. He’s physically alone, mentally lonely, and scared inside and out. He couldn’t stop thinking if one day something hit Trent, that he decided that this was not for him. That actually he didn’t want a boyfriend, a relationship.

_That he actually doesn’t want me._

It’s not without reason that Andy tend to avoid Trent’s eyes when they’re fucking. Trent was like a newborn Greek god, and Andy felt he’s just this skinny pale boy that’d be so lucky just to have half of Trent’s beauty. Then there’s Trent’s soft, quiet manner. He's just everything that Andy was not. And for all those reasons, it’s basically magic that they could be together. That Trent felt the same. That when they’re looking at each other’s eyes at night on their pillows, Andy was feeling really, really loved.

It’s truly magical, and Andy knew that magic didn’t really last, because it's not a real thing.

_Right?_

A new massage popped, and Andy opened it like it could be gone soon.

> **From: Trent**
> 
> I miss your wacky jokes and laugh already. Weird to sleep tonight in the cabin; strange place, strange smell, without you. Wish you were here, Andrew x

And Andy found himself smiling again for once today. He squeezed his pillow tighter; his chest still felt pinched. If Trent wished they’re together right now, Andy wished everything would be the same once Trent returned. That he wouldn’t get deep thoughts while staring at the lake, and decided being with a guy was not what he really wanted.

A drop of tear slowly moved down Andy’s haggard cheek. This couldn’t be just a fluke. 

**TRENT**

> **From: Robbo**
> 
> If u don't return, I don’t know what I’d do.

Trent typed his reply quickly. He’s not wrong; something was going on with his boyfriend.

> **To: Robbo**
> 
> Just one more day, and of course I’ll be back. You okay? We talk once I’m back, okay? It’s so late, let’s sleep. Thinking of you x

Trent tried to start their usual silly exchange, but even through the phone, he could tell Andy was somewhere else. It’s like a totally different person on the other side. Staring out the window, Trent wished he’s not here in the suburbs. 


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This man in his grasp, had made Trent lie to his parents for the first time since he’s twelve.

****

**ANDY**

The bell rang, and Andy scrambled from the bed, knowing he’s smiling so big as he’s sprinting to the door. He didn’t even wait, didn’t even say “hi”, and just immediately threw his body at Trent.

And just like that, he’s feeling a little better.

“Heeey,” Trent kissed Andy’s crown hard. “Aw, you missed me?”

No words Andy could say to perfectly express what he’s feeling. He just nodded, and kissed Trent back on his slim neck. Andy hated being alone with his fear; even when he already coped with being physically alone, the thoughts were going nowhere. Now, even at this very moment, he was still fighting the lingering ones.

“Bath together?”

Andy swang on Trent’s neck, thinking how desperate he sounded. But Trent nodded, kissed Andy’s nose and soon they’re deep in purple-colored water in the tub. The warm bath bomb’s smell, and Trent’s chest on his back wrapped Andy like a blanket of lullaby on a stormy night. 

Andy kissed Trent’s hand under the water, loving the comforting weight pressing his chest. The agreed talk, Andy knew it’s coming. It’s like he could sense Trent’s worry and curiosity floating on the water, preparing yet scaring him at the same time.

“Andy?” Trent whispered, careful and soft. “Talk to me,”

**TRENT**

“I’d scare you. You’d think I’m a freak.”

A couple weeks ago, Trent might freak out to hear that. But in a couple weeks being with Andy more than before, he learned more about the lad. How Andy’s mind was as intense as he was outside. Trent knew Andy was not physically sick. His family was all okay. Things had been going well in the office, so it might be nothing at all.

“I doubt that,” Trent said calmly. “But please tell me why?”

“You remember how I chickened out?”

Andy got up, pushing his wet hair back.

“I was ready to back out, because I don’t think I’d be able handle the pain if you would have said no. But then you agreed to this, and I was over the moon. I’m so lucky to have you, so lucky I don’t even think I deserve such a great, beautiful boyfriend. If someday, you change your mind,”

“What do you mean?” Trent frowned. He didn’t understand.

“If someday, somehow, you realize that I was a mistake…That I’m not good enough for you...”

“Andy…”

“...that this is not what you really want,”

And Trent didn’t wanna hear it. He knew there was another meaning everytime Andy called him beautiful. That’s Andy looking down at himself, and Trent had had enough. Trent pulled him closer, though actually he really wanted to shake Andy if he could.

“Andy, look at me. Look at me, listen to me, okay? You remember a long, long time ago, when we were hanging out here, and you told me all about those clubs dropping you before Hull? How hard it was for you?”

Trent could see the pain over the memories passing by in Andy’s head. 

“I am not those clubs; not their directors or whatever. I am not your past career or your career at all, Andy. I’m your boyfriend. If you think you’re the only one worried about someone changing their mind here, you’re dead wrong.”

Because Trent would be devastated too. He couldn’t imagine being without Andy, and he didn’t even want to start imagining that. Andy didn’t have to know that Trent actually lied; the trip was supposed to be three days long, but Trent told his parents he needed to be somewhere.

He needed to be here, back by Andy’s side sooner than later. Trent pulled Andy and kissed him deep. This man in his grasp, had made Trent lie to his parents for the first time since he’s twelve. This man had made him laugh like no other. This man was his best friend, best match, on and off the pitch.

“I love you,” Trent pulled away to say. Andy dropped his jaw immediately. 

“I’m here with you. I’m yours, Andy, that’s the reality. So please stop with your what-ifs, and tell me you love me back.”

There, finally a smile cracked on Andy’s face. It’s either he’s about to cry, or it’s the water dripping from his wet hair, but either didn’t really matter. Trent could kill to make Andy smile again, and he just did it with love.

“I love you, too.” Andy choked. “I’ve loved you since day one...I really do.”

And Trent promised himself he’d take care of this lad forever. This was never a trial mode like they thought at first. 


End file.
